As if meeting women wasn’t complicated enough, the expectations of a woman extend into the bedroom as well. Meeting, or ideally exceeding those expectations, should be a fun experience. Be sure it is by taking advantage of the collective knowledge of those who have gone before you.

Sex is not guaranteed

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or paid for on the date, unless you gave her cash up front for sexual favors, never assume she’s providing them at the end of the night. It can be hard to remember this if she chooses the dress provocatively on the date or the two of you wind up dancing and she turns out to be a real treat on the dance floor. For you it might seem to be extended foreplay. For her it might be fun clothing and having a good time with music and movement. Assume nothing and you’ll never be disappointed.

Sex is a process for most women

It is an act for most men – at least before the relationship develops too deeply. For the majority of women, sex is the final act of a long build-up. You have to hit all your lines and do everything right to make it to the final reward on a date night. Don’t be discouraged if you have to wait a few or a lot of dates before sex seems even remotely likely to happen. Her build-up and process are likely much longer than yours. Be patient and focus on getting to know her and enjoying her company. If she’s enjoying yours and feels safe in the burgeoning relationship, you’ll be tangled in the sheets in no time.

Sex should be reciprocal and patient

While it should go both ways, it’s more important that you impress her with your concern and care. When you do wind up in the bedroom together, take things slowly and build up the experience with plenty of foreplay. Stay aware of her body language and try to follow her spoken and unspoken requests. If she tenses when you try to kiss her mouth, stick with kissing her neck and shoulders. If she seems uninterested or hesitant when presented with a golden opportunity for oral sex, either to give or receive, don’t push the issue. There are plenty of other ways to enjoy your time together that you can both agree on.

Use sex as another conversation

Up to this point, you’ve had plenty of time to flirt and get to know the basics about each other. You’ve likely shared laughs and smiles. Sex is certainly not the time to cut off those previous conversations. Use the intimacy as another conversation. Use words to help reduce the initial awkwardness as you get to know each other for the first time. Take your time and speak to each other through body language and words. Use her responses to different elements of sex to determine what sorts of things she likes. Use your own reactions to help her understand your own preferences and needs.