It seems absolutely cliché, but flirting is truly an art form. Being able to flirt naturally takes some practice if you weren’t born with the skill. Successful flirting is a delicate balance of positive attention, teasing, physical contact and subtle gestures. To flirt successfully, you’ll need to find you own level of comfort with various flirting techniques. Some of the most common flirting techniques include:

Eye contact.

Pure and simple, eye contact is direct and can convey tremendous meaning to a woman. You can make eye contact from across the room when you first notice a woman or get more elaborate and make eye contact through a mirror or reflection. When you’re closer to the woman and speaking with her, eye contact is a sign of respect and can vary in levels of intensity to convey your desire and interest. Start on the casual end of eye contact and move on to sultry eyes only if it’s warranted. Women are much keener to body signals and will bolt if you try to stare them down or undress them with your eyes.

The light touch

Be careful here, but a light touch sends a clear message to a woman. The light touch should be innocent – “accidentally” brushing against her breast doesn’t qualify. For the expert flirter, the light touch works easily and naturally. She says something to you. As you lean in to hear her more clearly, you lightly place your hand on her shoulder or elbow. Shoulders and elbows aren’t especially sexy, but they are often bare in social settings allowing you to touch skin with skin – a clear sign of interest.

If you’ve spoken at length and happen to be seated next to each other closely, allowing your thigh to touch hers is a natural extension of the light touch. Likewise, offering your hand to help her stand up for a dance or holding her elbow getting out of a taxi is a polite, but meaningful touch. Avoid touching her sexually – legs, thighs, ankles, breasts, ears or neck as these will be coming on too strongly.

Gentle teasing and humor

Flirting is fun and is usually done lightly. A quiet shared laugh is terrific form, so try working in some light teasing and humor as the conversation progresses. The humor should never be forced or laced heavily with innuendo. Teasing her about her unusual watch is fun. Teasing her about her weight, height, or body is generally off-limits as offensive.

Reciprocal conversations

In flirting, there should be a give and take. Start light on personal details. Exchange pleasantries and let the conversation build in a reciprocal manner. Neither person should dominate things, nor should either person go deeply into their personal details unless the other person is sharing at that level as well. Although, when a conversation turns deep, you’ve likely gone beyond casual flirting to having a “meaningful conversation” – a good sign if you’re interested in the girl.

Focused attention

When flirting, your body language is telling her that she’s the one you’re paying attention to. Your eyes should be on her. Your face should be relaxed and smiling. Your stance should be loose and casual. Don’t allow your gaze to wander or your attention to shift away from the woman you’re speaking to. Not only is it rude, it will send a clear message to her that you’re not worth flirting with as you’re not truly paying attention to her.