Even when you know what you’re doing, it can be hard to take those first steps to approach a woman. Yet, women expect you to show your interest by doing exactly that, so the approach is critical to creating a powerful attraction. When approaching women, be sure to keep key social and communication points in mind.

Look for an invitation

No woman wants you barging in the mix while she’s in the middle of an intimate conversation with a friend. Hang out for a bit watching the room. Make eye contact with women you’re interested in and smile. If one returns the smile or looks away and then looks back again, you’re in. Take another minute or two before casually making your way in her direction. You don’t want to seem eager.

Never trap her with your body

Women are very keen to body language. Where and how you stand in her presence are especially meaningful in her initial impressions. When you approach a woman, be sure to leave her a way out. Stand at least a foot away and lean in to speak – personal space has great value, so don’t crowd her. When you position yourself to speak, stand to her side, not immediately in front or behind her. Standing off to the side leaves her a visible out which reduces anxiety. Standing in front of her at the bar might very well block her in and make her resent the intrusion.

Keep the introduction simple

Pick-up lines are the butt of jokes for a reason. Don’t bother trying to be clever here unless you have the sense of humor to play it off in a joking manner. It is far better to simply offer a confident greeting with plenty of eye contact and a natural smile. “Hi, I’m Joe.” You might offer her your hand to shake to show you’re interested in meeting her formally. Her body language will tell you a great deal about her first impressions. If she moves closer, leans in, shakes your hand and smiles while giving her name, you’re in.

Use a quick, neutral follow-up

There are plenty of loaded questions you can ask upon meeting someone. While these might work for certain individuals, it is far better to keep things light with a neutral follow-up. For example, instead of asking to buy her a drink, which can make her feel pressured, tell a quick joke to get everyone laughing or offer to buy the table another pitcher of margaritas. Including her friends immediately defuses the situation and makes everyone more comfortable. Give her time to get comfortable with you before asking her to dance or drink with you alone.

Gauge your next step

There is no race you’re running to attract a woman. Indeed, working to separate her from her friends too quickly can backfire. If she’s comfortable in a crowd and you seem to fit in with the group, stay that way. Perhaps invite your buddies over to join the group – with her permission, or suggest a group activity to continue the evening together. If you have a natural opening to get her one-on-one, try it, but don’t push. Ask her to dance or to play a round of pool.

Don’t feel obligated to be alone with her to cement the attraction

Simply sitting next to her at a party or standing beside her at the bar is enough to give her the information she needs. Watching you interact with others actually works in your favor as her friends will likely approve when they talk about you later – which you can be certain they will.